i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
