I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
