I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
