need another drink. this is the easiest way
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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