Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
