the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
did i just pee glitter
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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