TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
