I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
