I should be sponsored by Trojan
she peed on how many people?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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