Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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