I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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