We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
