haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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