The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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