if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
