I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
