dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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