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Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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