i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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