guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
