I want to make a zoo with you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
