I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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