On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
