you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize