I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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