I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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