she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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