hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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