therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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