Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Randomize
