I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
