I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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