My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
