Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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