She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
