your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just tell him i said nine months
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
