I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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