I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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