that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The feeling are messing with the penis
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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