We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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