Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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