i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
