1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
