I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
