His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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