Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
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