it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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