I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
