Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize