Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize