Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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