One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I love you. Go after that dick
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
