dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
