hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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