i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
