someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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