Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
