Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Four minutes until I can fart!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
