you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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