I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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