Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize