I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
