One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
